How's your view?

I was speaking with my Mom on the phone recently and she mentioned that she had just gotten her flu shot. I can understand why that makes sense, and as we’ve all been told: “an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure”. OK so, in a perfect world we would never catch a cold or pink eye and we’d never hit a slice. Well, until the Truman Show starts filming in my town, that perfect world doesn’t exist. You can bet that a good recovery strategy can save you from turning something bad, into something much, much worse.

I have been told (ad nauseum) that golf is a game of misses (hey! I am really good at that part!). The point is that although we all wish we did, we do not drive every green, avoid every bunker, and always stay out of the rough. So… what do we do when (not if) that happens? We strategize.

Just like in anything else, we can focus on a problem, speculate as to why it happened, beat ourselves up for whatever we did (or didn’t do), or get over it and think about the best solution. This is a HUGE issue for most golfers. What happens the minute a club head connects with a ball with the face wiiiiide open? Well you hear a booming “f” bomb of course, as that person watches his/her ball take a hard right into the rough/trees/water/other fairway/bunker/over a fence/onto the freeway. Sigh. Disheartening, indeed. However, all is not lost. It’s one shot... just one. So, depending upon how things turned out, there may be a penalty involved or there may be a hike into the wilderness involved but THIS is the moment that really matters. Phil Mickelson and (I mention this very begrudgingly) Tiger Woods are masters of getting out of precarious situations. Phil is in a position that any of us would look at and say… “ummm, I don’t have a shot.” Good old Phil flips his club over and hits righty... backwards! I do love that guy! Anyway, the point is, look at things with the mindset that a solution does exist, rather than being defeated after the T shot.

I’ve hit a few slices in my life which made me feel that a situation was hopeless. However when I looked at it with a different perspective and with the attitude that a solution did exist, I found one. The good news is that once we get through a trying situation, one in which we find ourselves having to break boundaries and move outside of our comfort zone you know what? We grow… as human beings and as golfers. Imagine that every time you landed in a bunker you immediately used the “hand wedge” and never even tried to hit the ball out. Where is the fun in that? Because once you grab your “S” guy and march yourself into that bunker with confidence and perhaps a sense of humor, you may just surprise yourself and make a “nice out”.

The game of golf would be no fun if every single shot we took was perfect. If we made every par, every birdie, every putt and holed out every chip, we would be bored. At that point we would decide that there is no point to the game, and move on to some other challenge. Let’s remember that we like the challenge and it feels fantastic to hit a great shot (or to get the job, make the sale, buy the house, or get the part) because of how big the challenge was in the first place.

Just because you think you have no shot, doesn’t mean you don’t. Smile… try something crazy... and watch as you make the craziest save of your life.

“Golf is the closest game to the game we call life. You get bad breaks from good shots; you get good breaks from bad shots - but you have to play the ball where it lies. “

- Bobby Jones

Play it where it lies… and laugh your ass off!

Sometimes you have to play solo

As a Catholic, I have spent a decent amount of time kneeling and saying The Rosary. We most often say The Rosary during times of mourning and hold a ceremony prior to the Funeral Mass actually called a Rosary. One day my uncle and I were talking about this whole thing and I sort of wondered aloud why we say The Rosary at someone’s funeral, although I assumed it was to bless their soul. On the contrary, however… my uncle explained that the recitation is for those in mourning, because there is great comfort to be found in the repetition of something familiar, and that totally made sense to me.
A couple of months ago, my sweetie, my caddy, found himself in a set of circumstances which eventually lead to him moving a few states away from me… yes, really. As the situation unfolded it was like the plot of a movie that you totally loved until the writers decided the movie needed some conflict. Well maybe it’s just me, but I’m pretty happy without conflict. So, after many sleepless nights and water hazards full of tears, my caddy was on his long drive, and this was one hell of a par 5.

Initially I couldn’t even look at my clubs without bawling my mascara off, nor could I drive past a golf course without feeling acid reflux. What is a girl to do without someone to double check her read before she putts? Sigh… you just have to replace the flag, grab your clubs and walk to the next tee box.

It took some time, but finally I just had to get back up on that tee. I went to the range, and as I walked that familiar walk, without my hand warmly enveloped by his, my heart ached and I felt like my bag had bricks in the bottom of it. I went upstairs so I could be as alone as possible, got my bucket and got ready to swing. The lump in my throat was the size of Gertie and with every swing I could hear my caddy’s voice in my head “you pulled it inside”, “better”, “swing easy”. Yep, it was KILLING me, and even recounting it now is bringing tightness to my chest. But I persevered: cleared my mind, and not worrying about where I hit, I just started swinging. Nice, easy strokes with a nice easy tempo… and in that space of repetition, fluidity of motion, without thinking about what I was doing or anything else… I found comfort (if only for that moment).

Amidst this discourse, I also began a new professional journey which I’m loving. This new situation has given me something to focus upon and a definite distraction from the feeling that I am a yin, sans yang. I couldn’t help but notice (ok and yes, feel that it is more than a tad unfair) that when one area of my life is going really well, another seems to tank. It’s like, why is it that when your drives are long and straight and your chips hit the middle of the green; you can’t sink a 6” putt? A winning streak doesn't last forever... but then neither does a losing.

Playing golf is much better with a caddy… it’s nice to have someone to have your back, to help make sure you don’t choose the wrong club or putt the wrong line, someone to carry your bag. Although it is reassuring to know that someone is watching where your ball landed, it isn’t impossible to do it alone. I am however, reassured by the fact that this situation will not last forever... does anything? So for now, I’m taking some lessons, learning some lessons and setting up my swing one shot at a time.

Golfer: "This golf is a funny game."
Caddy: "It's not supposed to be."

The finish line

I sometimes wonder if I suffer from Attention Deficit Disorder. When I begin something, I usually do so with a bit of zeal, gusto if you will, whether it's reading a new book, switching up my exercise routine, or sending out an RFP. Generally if I'm about to start something, I'm excited about whatever it is, have probably done some research and preparation and can't wait to get cracking. Vim and vigor is great and everything, but it doesn't always last. This is perhaps my biggest issue with my golf swing...

A couple of weeks ago my sweetie and I were at my little home 9 holer (yes, it really is fab to live somewhere where golf is a year round sport). As I'm sure I've stated I'm not a huge fan of the first tee because everyone within a square mile can see you tee off. Adding insult to injury, that day was the first time we had played in quite awhile so I was feeling more insecure than usual. Due to marker and pin placement, I pulled Mr. Hybrid out of the bag (yay, Callaway!). I did my thing and hit a good shot (ironically too far left since I was trying to over compensate for my slice tendency), Sweetie smashed his and off we went.

We were waiting on the second tee when two guys appeared and asked if they could join us. Ok, I love it when we get to play without another pair so I was a little annoyed, but primarily just ticked that these guys walked off the eighth green because they wanted to play another round but didn't start at one so they wouldn't have to pay. Bitter, party of 2 (Gertie was po'd as well). We were waiting for the group ahead to finish on the green and one of the guys says "you have a beautiful swing, where did you learn to play golf?" I looked proudly at my sweetie waiting for him to respond when... Omg... He was talking to me?!?! Yeah, me. Ok well chances are he knew I was less than pleased about the intrusion and was trying to butter me up (totally worked), but still. As the flush retreated from my face I set about the task of trying to play a decent round. I did all right, not my best, but not my worst… but the one thing I came away with that day was this: stop freaking out every time you start your backswing: it's fine! Instead work on finishing your damned swing!

I guess I'm half way there... I just have to see it through. It’s like not finishing a round so you can cheat your way into playing again… the hole you missed may have been your ace.

Sometimes we just have to lay up.