Life imitates golf

I find myself fascinated with the amount of psychology found within the game of golf. I am aware of how golf impacts me psychologically as well as how my psychology affects my game. Whilst on the mission to shoot a 36 at my itty home course, I have been surprised at how much pressure I've put on myself. The phenomenom is that pretty much everyone who swings a club does the same thing. Golf is a very personal and sometimes lonely venture. If you have a bad day the results reflect it and you haven't got ten other people on your team to pick up the slack. It's kind of like when someone writes a song, or paints a painting. He or she has put their heart and soul into something and once complete although the artist may have felt that they've just done their best work, there is usually a serious amount of insecurity when showing the final product to others. The thing is, there is nothing and no one to blame if your work is not well received, it's all you. The hard part about that is that when an artist shows their work, they are baring their soul before others. I think most of us experience the fight or flight response when in such a vulnerable position, and breath a sigh of relief when the reactions of others to the work is positive. This is how most of us feel when we address the ball... It's all about the judgement.

This past weekend I played a full 18 with the bf and his dad. I was so excited to play and didn't think I was all that nervous, because his dad is really encouraging. Sigh... on the front 9, I couldn't hit a ball from the tee, from the fairway or on the green. The nervous quotient shot through the roof when I stepped up to the first tee. Not only did I have my guys watching, but the course marshall was standing there as well as a cluster of golfers waiting to be up (all men, gulp) were watching. I grabbed my driver, stepped up to the tee and hit the worst shot in the history of golf. I totally topped the ball and it didn't even make it out of the box. Can you say "totally fricking mortified?" I felt the flush in my face and got the "tinglies". Eh ehmmm... so of course I had to do it again and it was hardly better than the first. Deep breath.

As we pressed on, I was horrified that I couldn't "find my swing". I mean, I am a fledgling so I don't have dreams of grandeur but come on! The shots I was missing were ones I can totally handle and I was frustrated to say the least. The back nine was 8 shots better than the front, and I at least hit a few good shots but yeah... I shot a 130. The sad part about that is that this score is actually in line with what I've done in previous rounds. The thing is, if I hit a great shot off the tee, get to the green in the appropriate amount of strokes and then choke with my putter, I can totally get over it. I still feel proud that I struck the ball well and had some good shots. It's like, missing a chip shot by totally topping the ball, but it somehow finds the cup. This happened to me once and although I was excited about it, it was a horrible shot, so I didn't feel proud like "yay, I chipped it in". More like, that was a hilarious stroke of luck. But I mean, zero skill required, I just got lucky. In terms of how I feel about the round I'm playing, good shots make me feel good, bad shots make me feel bad, regardless of the end result. It's like making a cake from scratch versus out of a box... if you add the three ingredients listed on the back of the box, stir it up and throw it in the oven, how good should you feel when everyone raves about it? It was a good mix, but did not require any cooking talent.

I am not a fan of Tiger Woods and never have been. I will admit that his golf skills are second to none (well, they were anyway), but as a human being I have little if any respect for the guy. His win stats reflect his skill of course, but that guy has pulled off some shots that just shouldn't have been successful. The thing about Tiger is that he is a master at visualization and when combined with his skill, he has managed to get the luckiest "kicks" and lies and successful shots out of situations that just shouldn't produce good results. That was then.. this is now.

Everyone has heard about his scandal (really, who is surprised by this?). He took some time off and recently started playing again. His game has gone to absolute hell and every golf analyst is talking about the possible reasons why. Yesterday, he withdrew from a tournament less than halfway through the round citing "a neck injury". Yeah. Uh huh. Sure. As human beings, whatever we're feeling on the inside has to have a physical manifestation of some sort. When someone has just begun a relationship, he or she may lose weight, gain weight, have great hair days and exude an overall glow. Suddenly everything at work is just perfect and they look and feel fantastic. Now then, the person going through a breakup is a completely different story. There is probably a weight gain or loss, their face breaks out and work is nothing but drama. Tiger has had a shift in energy, both his own as well as his "public's". He doesn't have the support he's always had and the energy in the gallery is not pulling for him to win. Hence the "injury".

The point is, if Tiger Woods can miss a cut or shoot a 79 because of his shift in energy, why do we think that stepping up to the tee filled with angst and insecurity will produce a perfect golf shot? Why the heck are we so sure that the world is judging our swing and that we are somehow "less than" if we top it, pull it, hook it, slice it or (God forbid) shank it? Who freaking cares? It's a game!

In our lives, we need to take each day as it comes, expect the best, but plan for the worst. In golf, we need to do the same. Address the ball planning for the most magnificent shot we've ever hit... every single time. Enjoy the lovely day, enjoy the people you're with and just take it, one shot at a time.

Be the ball. Life is good.